In case you haven’t noticed, the latest Snapchat update fucking blows. It’s buggy as hell, and I am not actually able to open most messages people send me. If you’ve paid for my ID and I don’t open your snap, this is why. I view every snap that is sent to me unless I’m too overloaded and can’t scroll down any further. I can still view messages, so those are not affected.
Anyways, you can now private message people, which is awesome for some things, like sending links and longer messages. However, I pretty much can no longer use Snapchat because it is sooooo slooooooow. It reminds me of the lag I experienced when typing an ICQ message on my old 486. Maybe you have no idea what I’m talking about (you probably don’t) but just know that is fantastically fucking slow. It takes forever for new snaps to load, my typing is delayed, and sending/receiving takes forever. A large part of it is that I receive so many fucking snaps. I can’t keep up. I also do not view videos, because my phone is always on silent, and if there’s any sound, I can’t hear what the fuck you’re saying anyway. That being said, if you send me something fucking stupid, don’t expect a response. Unless I know you, don’t send me videos. I consider the following to be stupid:
Pictures of your penis. Once again, I do not care to view random penises. Exceptions include genetic abnormalities, weird masturbation tactics, and freakishly huge with something for scale.
Videos of your mom’s birthday party. No one cares. Not even your friends. This also includes, but is not limited to other events, such as your kid’s birthday party, your high school cafeteria with a bunch of Justin Bieberesque boys with bad haircuts, you jerking off and/or having sex, or your cat. Dogs are fine, but cats fucking suck and I hate them, so don’t send me lame ass videos of your fucking cat.
Anything with no context, selfies excluded.